The shamanic process. Where does it leave me in the equation? A continuous shift of perspective, like discovering a machine’s purpose by pushing its buttons. But I am the one whose buttons are being pushed.
*beep* What do you think about this concept? *beep* How do you feel about this proposal? *beep* What would you say if your purpose looked a little something like this? *beep*
Constant contextualizing and negotiating, evaluating and scrutinizing. What leaves me (at times literally) breathless is: the process doesn’t necessarily have regard for my personal integrity, my moral/ethical values, sometimes not even for my well-being and daily life.
I, – me, myself, and I – am the one who is the safeguard of my intentions, the gatekeeper of the channel I seem to be. To do good seems to be shamanic common sense, it seems so obvious within the mainstream concept of spirituality. However, I am always being confronted with the opposite.
Archaic principles are pushing themselves through me, and it’s hard to describe them in comprehensible, human language, but I can feel them writhing underneath the surface, like some ancient technological mechanism, forcing me to seek refuge in metaphorical expressions. Writing poetry therefore is a natural response to the process.
It is by discovering and eventually describing my role as facilitator in the process, I am establishing my relationship with The Sacred. But (hang on, wait a minute): what is The Sacred? All I know (or rather: feel) is: what has been defined as sacred by our world’s religions, are diluted, meager, compromised representations of what it is, resulting in a set of rules saying: What It’s Supposed To Be.
Well, it isn’t supposed to be anything, it just IS.
And then, the following, everlasting, returning questions are: Is that so? Is it really? Guiding me back to my initial contemplation: Where does it leave me? Who am I? What am I doing?
The wavering trepidation in there, the searching, the authenticating; welcome to my shamanic loophole, ladies and gentlemen. And every time I’m wondering: what is my conclusion, is there a point to be made? To only find there ultimately are no points, no conclusions to be made. There only is: The Expression.
