I’ve dealt with quite some confusion lately, an overload of input.
It feels as if every spirit I’ve got has its own opinion about what’s good for me. Now I’m trying to get my head around what are my own thoughts and what’s spirit inspiration, what to take seriously or with a pinch of salt.
Since I got rid of a couple of pushy and compulsive spirits, my thoughts and intuition both make more sense.
So it’s not bad, it certainly isn’t nonsense. It’s just way too much to choose from, after all I only got two hands. But I may have found the solution.
In summer last year, my boyfriend and I went camping in this forest called the Speulderbos, it’s one of the oldest forests we got in the east of Holland.
I was experiencing a lot spiritually at the time, I was a walking open vessel. We spent our time on going for walks, there was this spot in the forest that caught my attention.
I felt it was calling me and I found a stick that seemed to vibrate with life and took it. This part of the woods felt very dense, very old. We sat on a log for meditation, and I immediately got sucked into a deep trance state. The place was ‘crowded’ and I felt a lot of eyes watching me. It was overwhelming, so I opened my eyes and we left to go some place else.
It was fascinating though, so I decided I wanted to go back after dinner a few days later. It was right before sundown and when we got there it felt totally different, hostile.
I felt this force pushing me back, telling me to go away and I had the feeling of being followed. I told my boyfriend I was getting totally paranoid and wanted to leave. He was like: ‘Hey, don’t be silly’, but I just said: ‘You do whatever you want, sweetheart’ and turned around to walk back to our tent. All of the sudden he changed his mind and said: ‘Let’s get out of here now’. We almost ran away, it was pretty hilarious. Afterwards my boyfriend said he didn’t take me seriously until he saw this dead bird lying at his feet, for him a sign to leave.
Arriving back at the tent I felt stupid, thinking: ‘If I’m visiting a place which feels so crowded, perhaps I should’ve asked for permission to be there and take that stick’. Because we read on a sign at the edge of the forest that 3000 years ago, the forest used to be a high residential area. The economy was blooming because of this special kind of beech wood that grows in the forest, the trees can become 45 meters high and formed a natural navigation beacon for sea men on the Zuiderzee. The wood is very strong so it’s great for building, but before logging the population had to ask permission from a guild.
I reasoned that could’ve been the reason for me feeling so uncomfortable and unwanted, so I apologized by burning some herbs and making a food offering and went to bed.
Soon after I fell asleep I got woken up and felt a strong presence in our tent. Still half asleep I had a vision of those high forest trees in silhouette against a bright sky vividly projected in my head. It felt intimidating, but it was ok so I rolled over to go back to sleep and started dreaming.
It was as if I’d taken mushrooms. I saw this pattern of tiny animated figures, slowly pulsing and dissolving into other patterns of tribal images, friendly faces of little creatures, transforming into flames. I finally understood what the point was: we were in the forest right before sundown. Who knew it wasn’t our intention to stay there and build a campfire and be the cause of a giant forest fire? I remember myself thanking the forest for the explanation, after that I slept like a baby.
After coming home from camping I had the feeling something had come with me from the forest, but I didn’t pay much attention to it, I just thought I was making it up.
A couple of weeks later I got an ‘investigación’ at La Botanica, which comes down to being surrounded by other espiritistas, passing on spirit messages to you. I got a lot of information about my spiritual realm, it was very large and I would have to start making choices, to separate the wheat from the chaff. One of the mediums said: ‘You’ve got a forest spirit. It’s a little fella and he’s rather shy. But he is the voice of reason in the craziness’.
That was awesome, I got evidence. But I forgot about it, until now.
I recalled the investigación this morning, it reminded me about the stick I ‘stole’ from the forest. It’s now waiting to become a part of my altar, as a reminder to consult my forest spirit more often.